#33 Random thoughts smoking on a sunny afternoon

Sharp endless agony
Fuck every way up to fame!
Drink all the poison and breathe
through your lungs all the
smoke you're capable of.

People don't stay, don't rest.
People just give up on me
They don't know
The just assume... <3

Here under the sun holding
a syringe in my hand, hard.
Close to the sea, I sing along
with the seagulls: these are
my deep reveries.

Don't think now: feel.
You need to feel in order to live.
Thought obstacles you:
leave it behind
Left, alone, blind.

I don't think I could live
without knowing the truth,
but I wish it weren't true
How I wish it wasn't you.

I'm sorry I think
I'm sorry so deep
I'm sorry I breathe
I'm sorry I fuck all the way
all ways

Please don't let me be
alone anymore, please don't go.
I please you and I beg of you
to keep me from the edge
I'm slowly passing through,
breaking walls, inside all cold
Just a way out of the world.

Fear. Always fearing.
I don't wanna lose anymore.
Losing is for losers...
I want to win and to win love.
I want to exhile my last breath
in the arms of my dearest love.

I'm sorry for this
It's my heart speaking
I'm sorry for that
It's my heart aching
I'm sorry for everything
It's my heart breaking
It's only that:
It's just as fair as death.

I don't wanna lose you.
I don't want you.

I'm sorry.

I want to speak with you
I want to cry before you
I want to show you the good
Don't run away, please don't go.
I'll find the way, I promise:
just only stay.

It's not fair if you go
It's not right if you stay
I don't want to harm you
I don't wanna hurt you.
Just know there's other truths.

I don't do drugs
I inhale them through life.
I only cut when I feel
overwhelmed and that's not
always as before: you see,
I'm a really pretty girl.

Acid stains my clothes
coming from inside my heart.
Razors caress my skin as well
as a boy nude and bare thin.
The kiss of the razor makes me
breathe again, the needle of the
pen full of ink reveals my
inner strenght.

I pray everyday God to stay
doucement with me: like a dog
on a haunt I feel, help me
pursuit the right path, that's it:
I don't think I ask that much,
really fiercely I feel blessed to
be living AGAIN.

MALìCE